


a missed opportunity

by wiltedfeathers



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22322065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiltedfeathers/pseuds/wiltedfeathers
Summary: “You weren’t ready to be a parent. That’s why I never told you about our child.”
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

It was nine months to the day that you first met Javier. Being mutual friends with Steve and Connie meant tagging along on nights out to the bar, which made it somewhat of a hassle to avoid him. You were familiar with his nightly escapades from Steve’s work stories and you told yourself you wouldn’t get caught up no matter how intoxicating he was. 

You were better than that. 

At least, that’s what you told yourself when you woke up in his bed one morning with a pounding headache and an inevitable hangover. At least Javier was considerate enough to make breakfast and coffee for the two of you before dropping you at home.

It was the last time you spoke to him. You stopped going out with Steve and Connie as a means to avoid him and the embarrassment that creeped up. You gave in when you told yourself not to and you weren’t sure if you could even face him. You felt sick to your stomach at the thought.

It was the frequent trips to the bathroom that tipped you off. Most mornings would be spent throwing up dinner from the night before and the nausea would have you calling out of work, on top of the constant fatigue and migraines. Connie had stopped by to come and check on you a couple times and you reassured her it was just food poisoning, but with her years of experience as a nurse she knew what was wrong with you from first glance.

_“I need you to take this.” She held up a pregnancy test and your eyes widened._

_“No way.” You panicked, immediately dismissing her. There’s no way in hell you could be pregnant. It was just food poisoning or the flu, right?_

_“When was your last period?” As soon as she asked the realization dawned on you. You hadn’t had one in weeks. Not since before the night at the bar._

_**Fuck.** _

_“Go. I’ll be right there with you.” Connie nudged you to the bathroom, a reassuring hand on your shoulder._

_Ten minutes later and you had two pink lines staring back at you._

Knowing Javier’s reputation with women and relationships you couldn’t afford to deal with the stress, so you practically begged Steve and Connie to keep it under wraps. Reluctantly, they agreed but not without the occasional nagging and disappointment that you were keeping something this big from him.

_“You’ll have to tell him sooner or later.” Steve urged, causing you to shake your head. He sighed and Connie reassuringly squeezed your hand._

_“I know you’re scared but this child deserves to know his father.” She added. “I know you have your reservations about him and his habits, but he’s a good guy and I’m sure he’ll be an amazing father.”_

_“Yeah, but....” You bit your lip in hesitation. They were right and you knew it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it. “I can’t bring his child into the world knowing that he can’t commit to anything besides his job. I can’t guarantee that we’ll be more important than catching Escobar in his world.”_

Connie was the first person you called when your water broke. She was by your side from the moment she picked you up and through labor and delivery, as Steve wouldn’t show up until the end of his shift.

_“Where are you rushing to on a Tuesday night?” Javier teased his partner, noticing that he was a little eager to finish his paperwork and clock out._

_“Gotta head to the hospital. Helping Connie with something.” Steve said as he pulled his jacket on, frantically looking for his keys._

_“Didn’t take you as the type to fuck your wife at work, Murphy.” Javier teased, earning himself a middle finger from Steve._

_“Yeah, whatever asshole.” Steve warned, “Connie’s best friend is giving birth and I promised I’d show up. You remember the one from the bar that night you went home with?”_

_Steve froze as he quickly realized what he said, and Javier tensed up as if he’d seen a ghost._

_The girl he took home that night. Connie’s best friend. Giving birth._

_Javier wanted to throw up._

A few days after giving birth to a healthy baby boy you were home in your apartment. Steve and Connie had been by as much as they could to make sure you were okay and to give you a break from time to time, which you were immensely grateful for. You were used to them showing up so frequently that you didn’t expect Javier to be knocking on your door, panic immediately washing over you as you faced him for the first time in almost a year.

“We need to talk.” He said in a stern voice, stepping around you and into your apartment.

“Nice to see you too.” You mumbled, locking your apartment door and crossing your arms at him.

“Oh, don’t give me that crap.” Javier fumed, hands on his hips. “How could you keep the fact that I had a child hidden from me?”

You bit your lip and sighed, looking everywhere but his face. “You weren’t ready to be a parent. That’s why I never told you about our child.”

“Bullshit. I have a right to know about my child as a father.” Javier was fuming; he was a mix of anger, sadness, confusion, and hurt. You let out a dry chuckle at his comment.

“You sleep around with all these women without any remorse but one ends up pregnant and you’re at their door expecting to be father of the year!” You yell, throwing your hands up in frustration. The tension was thick enough to be sliced with a knife, or the cries of a days old newborn. You let out a sigh before walking past Javier toward your bedroom, demeanor immediately changing as you tended to the baby.

“Shh, mama’s here.” You whispered and swayed side to side as you shushed him, not even noticing Javier had followed you until he spoke. He never thought he’d be a father, regardless if he chose to settle down or not, but he couldn’t help the paternal instinct that creeped up as he watched the two of you.

“How old is he?” He asked, tone and demeanor softening.

“Almost a week. Been a few days since we’ve been home from the hospital.” You placed him back in his crib as he calmed, tiring himself out from the crying.

Javier sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Why didn’t you tell me I had a child? That you were pregnant?”

“I didn’t wanna get in the way.” You paused before speaking again. “I know you’re focused on catching Escobar and that you don’t have time for anything that’s not a one night stand. That’s all I ever was to you and I knew you didn’t need anything else on your plate.”

“You just can’t hide something like this from someone.” Javier was careful of his tone, trying not to wake the baby again. “We could’ve worked things out if you just talked to me. I would’ve figured something out.”

You let out a regretful sigh and looked between him and the newborn, guilt starting to wash over. “I really wanted to tell you but I was just too scared. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His expression softened as he stood, walking over to pull you into a hug you didn’t realize you needed. “You were scared, I get it.”

The two of you stood there in silence, Javier’s hold on you not letting up anytime soon. You let out a breath and relaxed into his arms.

“I wanna be in his life. If you’ll let me, I mean.” Javier spoke quietly. You looked up at him with soft eyes and nodded.

“Of course. He deserves to know his father.”


	2. Chapter 2

  
The cries of the two month old in the other room woke you from your sleep. Looking over at the clock, you sighed. It was barely three in the morning and you couldn’t remember the last time you had a full night’s sleep. Thankfully, Javier had kept his promise and stepped up in his role as a father, tending to the baby when he knew you needed a break and providing as much as he could. 

Fatherhood had grown on him and slowly he shed his old life of drinking and hookers for diapers and baby food. Although, a beer every once in a while wouldn’t hurt anybody. It took a lot of convincing on his part, with help from Steve and Connie of course, to get you to move in with him. You still had your reservations about Javier but watching him put in effort was enough for you.

_“It’ll be better for you and the baby if you just move in with me.” Javier declared. “He can’t grow up with both his parents living in two different spaces.”_

_“I don’t know Javi...” You sighed and bit your lip, looking down at the newborn in your arms. All of this was making your head spin._

_“Before you know it he’s gonna be walking and there’s barely any space in this place as it is.” Javier gestured to your living room. You gave him a look and threw a towel at him, causing him to throw his hands up in defense. “You know I’m right.”_

_A baby wasn’t on your radar when you moved into the apartment, as it was better suited for a single person. Javier’s place did have more space both for you and the baby, but you couldn’t shake the nerves that came with taking that step._

_“I’ll think about it.”_

The relationship between the two of you had started to improve as well; you were opening up to each other and it became easier to communicate your respective needs. From an outsider perspective, people would say the two of you were on the verge of becoming a couple, an idea the two of you constantly shut down.

_“Man, just admit that you like her.” Steve urged, taking a swig of his beer. The two men were having a guys’ night, much needed after all the stress had caught up to them._

_“I do like her. She’s the mother of my child.” Javier replied._

_Steve rolled his eyes at his partner. “You know what I mean. I’ve seen the way you look at her. Plus, you’ve been going out of your way to make sure she’s taken care of.”_

_“It’s called having common decency dude.” Javier took a sip of his own beer, refusing to admit that Steve was right._

_He was whipped and he knew it._

You weren’t ready to admit your feelings to Javier either. Maybe it was your hormones being thrown out of whack, but there was just something about the way he was with your child that attracted you to him. Part of you wanted to speak up for the sake of your son, that he could grow up with two loving parents rather, but you couldn’t shake the fear that came with being vulnerable on that level.

_“I think I like him.” You admitted to Connie, holding your head in your hands. “I don’t know if it’s because of how he is with the baby or what, but I’m fully convinced at this point.”_

_“They do say fatherhood can make a man even more attractive.” Connie shrugged._

“I got it, don’t worry.” Javier reassured you, a small sigh of relief escaping your lips. “You need your sleep.”

Nodding, you laid your head back down on the pillow as he left your shared bedroom and headed to the nursery. Those same feelings were pooling at the pit of your stomach as you rolled onto your back, twiddling your thumbs together. It wasn’t the first night these feelings had kept you awake, but you had no idea how much longer you could handle holding onto those unsaid feelings. You let out another exasperated sigh as you threw the covers off and made your way to the nursery, pausing in the doorway at the sight in front of you.

Javier held your son in his arms, rocking back and forth as he hummed a lullaby. The cries were nonexistent as the child had tuckered himself out, barely keeping his eyes open as he curled into his dad’s chest. Your eyes started to tear up — damn hormones — and a sniffle gave away your presence.

“I thought you were sleep.” Javier spoke quietly, placing the infant in his crib after he was fully knocked out for the night.

“I was...” You smile at him as you walk over, resting your head on his shoulder. “Just wanted to see my boys.”

Javier shook his head at you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, snaking his arm around his shoulder. The two of you watched your now fast asleep son, beaming with joy.

“We did a good job for a one night stand, huh?” You rolled your eyes at Javier’s comment before letting out a soft chuckle and a shrug.

“Just wish it was more.” You mumbled to yourself, cheeks going red once you realized you said it out loud. Panic creeped up when you felt Javier’s eyes on you, biting your lip as you opted to walk out of the room.

Javier was right behind you and before you could protest or deny your feelings his lips were on yours, immediately relaxing at his touch. His hand cupped your face as you ran your hand through his hair, the other resting on his bare chest. His forehead was on yours when the two of you parted, thumb gently running over your bottom lip.

“I hate it when Steve’s right.” He muttered to himself, your turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “I wanted us to have something more too. After seeing you with our son that day I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

“You did a good job just now.” You teased, earning a chuckle from him. “I told Connie the same thing the other day. Something about you being a father just gets me going. That, and you in those boxers.”

“Careful now, little man’s gonna end up with a sibling if you keep this up.” He kissed your forehead and took your hand. “Let’s get some sleep, huh?”


	3. Chapter 3

Javier was retiring this year and the two of you decided on moving to Texas. He wanted to be closer to his father and you both wanted a bigger space for your now active toddler who was only getting bigger as the days went on. You were convinced that he looked like his dad but Javier argued that he had your eyes and your hair, while everyone, specifically Steve and Connie, said he was a spitting image of the both of you. Arguing his godparents were completely out of the question.

They had both been an amazing help on your parenthood journey, Connie offering to help you out when Javier worked late nights and Steve practically kicking you both out the house to enjoy yourselves. You and Javier had become stronger both as a couple and as parents, and all your paranoia and fears about your situation had long faded from your memory. You didn’t know it that night at the bar but you were convinced he was the best thing to happen to you, and he’d be able to say the same for himself. Javier never wanted to settle down again before you but he knew that you were the person he wanted this life with.

It was a feeling that hit Javier out of the blue. The three of you were curled up on the couch watching old Charlie Brown reruns and Javier watched as the two of you had fallen asleep; you on his shoulder and the toddler in your lap. He made a mental note to start shopping for rings that night.

_“I think I wanna marry her.” Javier spoke before sipping his coffee. Steve raised his eyebrows at him._

_“Javier Peña and marriage in the same sentence? I must be in the Twilight Zone.” Javier shot him a death glare from his desk._

_“I started looking at rings but I don’t even know how I’m gonna ask her.” He held his head in his hands as he spoke._

_“You’ll figure it out.” Steve leaned back in his chair as he spoke. “You might not know all that now but when the moment comes, you will.”_

It wasn’t too long before the move that you started feeling sick. You had brushed it off as bad leftovers or stress from the move, but being pregnant again wasn’t something you even considered. Javier hadn’t brought up the idea of more kids nor was it a thought you entertained, but there was something all too familiar about how often you found yourself glued to the toilet. You made a mental note to get it checked out after you settled in Texas, but you could barely get past Connie without her being suspicious.

_“You’re pregnant again, aren’t you?” You choked on your drink at the suggestion, raising an eyebrow at her._

_“What makes you think that?” It was Connie’s turn to raise an eyebrow at you, suddenly registering that your best friend was a nurse. Pregnancy brain._

_“It’s written all over you. Plus, I sat and watch you eat an entire jar of pickles. You hate pickles.”_

_You made a doctor’s appointment the next morning._

You had no idea how to bring the pregnancy up to Javier just as he had no idea how he planned to propose to you, and this time Steve and Connie weren’t around to make things smoother. The ring was burning a hole in Javier’s underwear drawer and you were going to start showing in the next few months, which only amplified your nerves. The sound of the front door made you jump as it pulled you away from your thoughts, focusing on cleaning the counter as a distraction.

“What’re you doing?” You didn’t notice Javier’s voice as you were focused on a specific spot on the counter, only sensing his presence.

“I, uh... Just cleaning the counters.” A nervous smile made it’s way to your face as he raised an eyebrow at you. He was itching to run and grab the ring but after catching on to you acting weird the past few weeks, he was concerned.

“Okay, what’s really going on? You only do this when you’re stressed.” You let out a sigh and shrug, causing Javier to return your sigh with his own and walk over to you. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”

It was fair to say you were scared to tell him about the pregnancy based on how things went down last time, but Javier hadn’t given you reason to believe that history would repeat himself. The boys were attached at the hip as father and son, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if another child entered the mix at this point in your lives. Sighing, you bit your lip and looked up at Javier.

“I’m pregnant.”

His jaw dropped slightly as he blinked a few times, letting out a breath as he looked down at you. He would’ve thought you were joking if he weren’t so good at reading your expressions, but he couldn’t shake the wave of euphoria that washed over him. “We’re really having another kid?”

You nodded and he practically crashed his lips against yours, happy tears coming from the both of you. The two of you stood in each other’s arms before a small voice brought you back to reality.

“Daddy, are you still gonna give this to mommy?” You both looked at the toddler who had a small velvet box in his hands, Javier quickly rushing to the toddler to pick him up. You were frozen where you stood as you really got to look at what was in your son’s hands, eyes already brimming with tears as your boys walked over to you.

“I wasn’t planning on it tonight, but since you’re here we can give it to her now.” You watched as the toddler figured out how to open the box before Javier helped him out. “I had this planned differently in my head but I guess now’s a better time than never to ask you to be my wife.”

“Daddy, mommy’s crying.” Your son interjected and pouted as you chuckled, leaning in to kiss his cheeks.

“That’s cause mommy's really happy baby.” You couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as Javier managed to slip the ring on your finger with one hand, pulling you close to kiss your hand.

“ _Eres el amor de mi vida_.”


End file.
